no matter how i think of it, its still unfair..
why is life so unfair?

other girls are more demanding, have even worse tempers, but yet lasts longer..
me.. hardly even try to pick on you.. accepting flaws.. but yet ...

i have to know how to see your expression and know that i did wrong, apologise asap
but when im finally getting upset and feeling neglected, not only i dont get an apology, it all goes wrong and its all STILL my fault?

even when im not feeling loved, i constantly try to salvage, only to receive cold replies like you dont care
blaming it on me when the true problem is not even that..

even when im showing that im willing to give in alittle, u still firmly insist ur point
alternating between cold and warm replies, making me confused about what you actually feel about the situation..
if i havnt considered about your feelings
i wouldnt have waited so damn long
i wouldnt have tried to salvage
i wouldnt have tried to give in
i wouldnt have given you so many chances which you wasted again and again, over the months...
i wouldnt have waited even when i felt like im of no importance anymore, when every other object/person/event seems to come before me
i wouldnt have hoped that you will put in slightly more effort to keep us together

but all these efforts.. plus everything i hav done over the two years..
are all not recognised.. are all being pushed aside and not put into consideration
all the hurtful words even till the last day.. making me seem so pathetic, worthless, stupid

now i dont noe how to love anymore
cos putting in efforts doesnt seem to work
cos it all ends when i get angry
cos nothing seems to be appreciated
cos putting you first before anything esle, constantly thinking about you doesnt seem to be important
cos understanding your change in lifestyle and trying to adapt doesnt work
cos loving doesnt seem to be more important than fulfilling requirements

they say when you love someone, u wont want to change anything about them
does this mean that this sentence isnt true, or does it tell me that mayb you din love the true me from the beginning?

plans made for the future are all gone with the wind
never coming back again..

nobody is perfect and i accepted you for who you are
but that doesnt seem to be enough
so letting go would be better for you and me  i thought
i dont noe about you.. but its tough
very tough.. ):
letting go not because you dont love anymore.. but because you still do, is hard
everyday is a torture..
when will this torture end?

i hope you are happy now.. without such a huge burden in your life
holding you back from your success
i really hope you will do well.. and hopefully find someone better, someone who fulfills ur /ur parents' expectations and lead a better life..


cos i think its the onli thing i can do for you now..



how i wished i can wake up one day.. and its all a dream